Directive From the "Know-it-all" Department in Washington

This year, only inoffensive nativity pageants will be allowed:

  • There shall be no mention of Mary riding a donkey.  Unfair to animals.

  • No reference to Innkeeper allowed so as not to cast aspersions on hospitality industries.

  • No swaddling clothes which is a clear sign of child abuse.

  • There will be an equal number of boy shepherds and girl shepherds.

  • No reference shall be made to seeing a star so as not to offend people living in smog.

  • Any and all gifts shall be wrapped in recycled paper and recycled ribbons.

  • King Herod shall be accompanied by Queen Herod who shall speak half the dialogue.

  • There shall be at least three Wise Persons of appropriate ethnic and gender mix.

  • When the family leaves for Egypt, Joseph shall carry the baby and Mary the luggage.

  • Since religious observances should unite rather than divide, there shall be no "Gloria in excelsis Deo" nor any "Merry Christmases."  A simple "Season's Greetings" is preferable.

background by Cathye

 

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