WEEKLY FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Need an inspirational thought...a chuckle or two... something to inspire you and get you through the day?  Well, you've come to the right place.  Check here at least weekly for new bits of inspiration.  Sometimes more than once per week...sometimes not...but check often so you don't miss anything.

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(Sunday, August 31)

TIGHTROPE TRUST

In the mid-nineteenth century, tightrope walker Blondin was going to perform his most daring feat yet.  He stretched a two-inch steel cable across Niagra Falls.  As he did, a large crowd gathered to watch.  He asked the onlookers, "How many of you believe that I can carry the weight of a human on my shoulders across this gorge?"

The growing crowd shouted and cheered, believing that he could perform this difficult feat.  Blondin picked up a sack of sand that weighed about 180 pounds and carried it across the Falls.  They both arrived on the other side safely.

Then Blondin asked, "How many of you believe that I can actually carry a person across the gorge?"  Again, the crowd cheered him on.

"Which one of you will climb on my shoulders and let me carry you across the Falls?"  Silence fell across the crowd.  Everyone wanted to see him carry a person across the gorge, but nobody wanted to put his or her life into Blondin's hands.

Finally a volunteer came forward willing to participate in this death-defying stunt.  Who was this person?  It was Blondin's manager, who had known the tightrope walker personally for many years.

As they prepared to cross the Falls, Blondin instructed his manager, "You must not trust your own feelings, but mine.  You will feel like turning when we don't need to turn.  And if you trust your feelings, we will both fall.  You must become part of me."  The two made it across to the other side safely.

Jesus gives us the same instruction when we are asked to trust Him in difficult circumstances:  "Don't trust your own feelings; trust Me to carry you through"

printed in Quiet Moments with God
a devotional book by Honor Books--Tulsa, OK


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(Saturday, August 30)
I didn't believe it...but it's true!!!!  TRY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your  right foot.

 While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

 Your foot will change direction.

 NOW EXPLAIN THAT ONE!!

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(Friday, August 29)

I definitely like the way this person thinks!!!!!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
 
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
 
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
 
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise program?
 
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.
 
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
 
Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
 
A: Thicker gravy.
 
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
 
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
 
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around!
 
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and iets.
 
Now go have a cookie...flour is a veggie!

received from Mikey's Funnies <www.MikeysFunnies.com>

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(Wednesday, August 27)

Just because I'm not saying anything
doesn't mean that I'm not grieving.
Words just cannot capture my loss--
at least not any words I know.
Why he was my best friend!
I'd been knowing him for nearly forty-five years.
How is a man supposed to put that into words?
And how is a man supposed to imagine a world
without such a friend?

Harold Ivan Smith stated that in writing his book, Grieving The Death Of A Friend, he had reexamined his attitudes on the stoic male and had come to the conclusion above.

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(Tuesday, August 26)

There are many reasons God saves you:  to bring glory to himself, to appease his justice, to demonstrate his sovereignty.  But one of the sweetest reasons God saved you is because he is fond of you.  He likes having you around.  He thinks you are the best thing to come down the pike in quite a while. . . .

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.  If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it.  He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.  Whenever you want to talk, he'll listen.  He can live anywhere in the universe, and he chose your heart. . . .

Face it, friend.  He's crazy about you.

from A Gentle Thunder by Max Lucado

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(Monday, August 25)
Younger daughter is safely back at college!!!!!!

Don't let the fear of losing something become greater than the joy of loving it.

paraphrased from a comment made by one of the characters during an episode of "DOC" on the PAX network

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(Tuesday, August 19)
(I feel I need to pass this along since the Blaster is causing such problems now.  Besides, if I am in the target audience...was born 55 years ago yesterday <S>...I feel sure others reading this are in the same boat.)

Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems that there is a PC virus out there called the C-Nile Virus that even the most advanced AntiVirus programs cannot take care of, so be warned. It appears to affect those of us who" were born before 1958!

Symptoms of C-nile Virus:

1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send to wrong person.
4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to wonder who all the people in your address book are.
7. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

Follow-up warning:

There's a bizarre but related virus that often accompanies this virus -- it causes the person to violently reject the idea that he/she has been affected by the C-Nile virus. This virulent partner virus is the D-Nile virus.

this was received through email...original source unknown

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(Sunday, August 17)

One day an evangelist by the name of Jackov arrived in a certain village. He commiserated with an elderly man named Simmerman on the tragedies he had experienced and talked to him of the love of Christ.  Simmerman abruptly interrupted Jackov, and told him that he wished to have nothing to do with Christianity.  He reminded Jackov of the dreadful history of the church in his town…a history replete with plundering, exploiting, and indeed with killing innocent people.  “My own nephew was killed by them,” he said and angrily rebuffed any effort on Jackov’s part to talk about Christ.

“They wear those elaborate coats and caps and crosses,” he said “signifying a heavenly commission, but their evil designs and lies I cannot ignore.”   

Jackov, looking for an occasion to get Simmerman to change his line of thinking said, “Simmerman, can I ask you a question?  Suppose I were to steal your coat, put it on, and break into a bank.  Suppose further that the police sighted me running in the distance but could not catch up with me.  One clue, however, put them onto your tracks.  They recognized your coat.  What would you say to them if they came to your house and accused you of breaking into the bank?"  

“I would deny it,” said Simmerman.

“ ‘Ah, but we saw your coat,’ they would say,” retorted Jackov.

This analogy quite annoyed Simmerman who ordered Jackov to leave his home. 

Jackov continued to return to the village periodically just to befriend Simmerman, encourage him, and share the love of Christ with him.  Finally one day Simmerman asked, “How does one become a Christian?”

Jackov told him the simple steps of repentance for sin and of trust and the work of Jesus Christ, and gently pointed him to the shepherd of his soul.  Simmerman bent his knee on the soil with his head bowed and surrendered his life to Christ.  As he rose to his feet, wiping his tears, he embraced Jackov and said, “Thank you for being in my life,” and then he pointed to the heavens and whispered, “You wear His coat very well.”

Do yourself a favor and keep your eyes off the shortcomings of institutions…and people…and history’s dark spots.  Level your scrutiny at the person of Christ, and you will see the One who wears His Father’s coat VERY WELL.

from Can Man Live Without God by Ravi Zacharias
(transcribed from audio...spellings and punctuation not necessarily authentic)

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(Sunday, August 10)

THE WEATHERED OLD BARN

A stranger came by the other day with an offer that set me to thinking.  He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway.  I told him right off he was crazy.  He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands, and the way he talked.  He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale.  I told him he had a funny idea of beauty.

Sure, it was a handsome building in its day.  But then, there's been a lot of winters pass with their snow and ice and howling wind.  The summer sun's beat down on that old barn till all the paint's gone, and the wood has turned silver gray.  Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired.  Yet, that fellow called it beautiful.

That set me to thinking.  I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at that old barn.  The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls of his den in a new country home he's building down the road.  He said you couldn't get paint like that.  Only years of standing in the weather, bearing the storms and scorching sun, only that can produce beautiful barn wood.

 It came to me then. We're a lot like that, you and I. Only it's on the inside that the beauty grows with us. Sure we turn silver gray too... and lean a bit more than we did when we were young and full of sap. But the Good Lord knows what He's doing. And as the years pass He's busy using the hard weather of our lives, the dry spells and the stormy seasons, to do a job of beautifying our souls that nothing else can produce. And to think how often folks holler because they want life easy!

They took the old barn down today and hauled it away to beautify a rich man's house. And I reckon someday you and I'll be hauled off to Heaven to take on whatever chores the Good Lord has for us on the Great Sky Ranch. 

And I suspect we'll be more beautiful then for the seasons we've been through here... and just maybe even add a bit of beauty to our Father's house. 

received online through email

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(Saturday, August 9)

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."

Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!"

Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."

Give me two reasons why I should go to school" says the son.

Well, for one, you're 52 years old.  And for another, you're the Principal!"

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(Tuesday, August 5)

Pilot Gripe Sheet

  After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet that conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

  The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem.  They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

  Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.  Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

  By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident..

  P = The problem logged by the pilot.
  S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

  P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
  S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

  P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
  S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

  P: Something loose in cockpit.
  S: Something tightened in cockpit.

  P: Dead bugs on windshield.
  S: Live bugs on backorder.

  P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
  S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

  P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
  S: Evidence removed.

  P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
  S: DME volume set to more believable level.

  P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
  S: That's what they're there for.

  P: IFF inoperative.
  S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

  P: Suspected crack in windshield.
  S: Suspect you're right.

  P: Number 3 engine missing.
  S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

  P: Aircraft handles funny.
  S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

  P: Target radar hums.
  S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

  P: Mouse in cockpit.
  S: Cat installed.
  *~*

received through email

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(Sunday, August 3)

THE LIGHT WITHIN
by Joseph Mazzella

  I just spent most of this evening on my back porch enjoying a yearly miracle. Every year during the summer I have always been fortunate enough to get a week or two of watching the fireflies light up the world. I can remember seeing them and chasing after them when I was only a boy of four or five. I can remember helping my young cousins catch them and then let them go while my wife held our baby boy nearly fifteen years ago. I can remember being blessed by seeing thousands of them lighting up my back yard these last few years.

Tonight they seemed to almost dance along as they flew over the tombstones in the graveyard behind my house. Their shining lights seemed to blink a beautiful reminder into my soul that there is no death only everlasting light.

I sometimes wish that we humans could shine our lights as clearly and beautifully as our firefly friends do, but I guess God in His infinite, loving wisdom meant for us to shine our light in other ways. We do, after all, have a powerful, glowing, wondrous light within us. It comes out of us as goodness, kindness, love, joy, compassion, caring, peace, happiness, and delight. It shines from us whenever we share it and is more brilliant than a million fireflies.

Make sure then to shine that light within you. Reach down into your soul and bring out all the love, joy, goodness, and light that God fills you with. Bring it out, nourish it, and make it burn bright. Then share it with the world. Let it shine in your smile, glow in your kind words, brighten others' lives through your loving actions, and illuminate the world in your joyous life.

Be a daily miracle.

Be a firefly of love for God.

Let the light within you set the world aglow with its brilliance.
*****
Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand
  and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds
  shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your
  heavenly Father. (Matthew 5:15-16)
---------
  Copyright (c) 2003, Joseph Mazzella.


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