-
You and
your teeth don't sleep together
-
You try
to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't
wearing any
(and when the heck
did I acquire my mother's arms???)
-
At the
breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating
cereal
-
Your
back goes out but you stay home
(make mine
hips...I've always been a very "hip" person <giggle>)
-
You wake
up looking like your driver's license picture
-
It takes
two tries to get up from the couch
(actually, that
happened when I was pregnant)
-
Your
idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
(or inside under
the air conditioner is just fine with me)
-
Happy
hour is a nap
(amen!!!)
-
You're
on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does
(you mean there's
any other way?????...although with one daughter - and soon two - in
college, this prolly will no longer be a problem <S>)
-
You say
something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always
hated it
(and my older
daughter is now saying some of those same things as "words of
wisdom" to the younger one!!)
-
All you
want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age
(just send money)
-
You step
off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is
still there
(dern trifocals)
-
Your
idea of weight lifting is standing up
(but don't I get a
prize for the amount of weight I'm able to lift??)
-
It takes
longer to rest than it did to get tired
(by a long
shot!!!!!)
-
Your
memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer
(memory...memory...I
vaguely remember something by that name)
-
Your
address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
-
You sit
in a rocking chair and can't get it going
(don't laugh...it
happens)
-
The
pharmacist has become your new best friend
(it's a tie between
him and the mechanic)
-
Getting
"lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot
(or you have an
entire day without obligations)
-
The
twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your
bifocals
-
It takes
twice as long - to look half as good
(not my
fault!!...it's these blasted circles under my eyes!...and these twin
chins...and these wrinkles that appeared out of nowhere...and these
dimples on my thighs...and...and...and)
-
Everything
hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work
(happens to you,
too????)
-
You look
for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole
time
(like I'm gonna
admit this one)
-
You sink
your teeth into a steak - and they stay there
-
You give
up all your bad habits and still don't feel good
-
You have
more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore
(except about that
happy hour nap)
-
You
finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart
(yes...yes...that's
right...I have my head together...now if I could just remember where I
put it)
-
You
wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember
being on top of it
(but ain't the
sliding part fun!!!)