Then:  Being caught with Hustler magazine
Now:  Being caught by Hustler magazine

Then:  Hoping for a BMW
Now:  Hoping for a BM

Then:  Getting out to a new, hip joint
Now:  Getting a new hip joint

Then:  Moving to California because it's cool
Now:  Moving to California because it's warm

Then:  Being called into the principal's office
Now:  Storming into the principal's office

Then:  Peace Sign
Now:  Mercedes Logo

Then:  "Going blind"
Now:  REALLY going blind

Then:  Long hair
Now:  Longing for hair

Then:  Acid rock
Now:  Acid reflux

Then:  Fighting to get rid of the lying President
Now:  Fighting to keep the lying President

Then:  The perfect high
Now:  The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then:  Elvis in the army
Now:  Elvis in a UFO

Then:  Swallowing acid
Now:  Swallowing antacid

Then:  You're growing pot
Now:  Your growing pot

Then:  Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
Now:  Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids

Then:  Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Now:  Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

Then:  Passing the driving test
Now:  Passing the vision test

Then:  Seeds and stems
Now:  Roughage

Then:  Popping pills, smoking joints
Now:  Popping joints

Then:  Whatever?
Now:  Depends

Then:  Ommmmmmmmm
Now:  Ummmmmmmmm

Then:  Our president's struggle with Fidel
Now:  Our president's struggle with fidelity

Then:  The Grateful Dead
Now:  Dr. Kevorkian

Then:  Rolling Stones
Now:  Kidney stones

Then:  Parents begging you to get your hair cut
Now:  Children begging you to get their heads shaved

* * * * * * * * * *